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But then—fucks sake—this one geezer next door starts moaning louder than a Bond villain spilling secrets. Pissed me right off! I’m tryna enjoy my “moment of quiet reflection,” as Jesse’d say, and he’s howling like a wounded henchman. Nearly leapt off the table, silenced him with a martini glass. Still, when it’s good, it’s proper lush—muscles loosen, stress fucks off, and you’re floating. “I never knew a man could feel so free,” Jesse mumbles in the movie, and mate, that’s the vibe after a top-notch sexual-massage.

12 Best Arousal Gels to Amp Up Your O

An edible massage cream that is silky smooth and leaves the skin tasting delicious for intense foreplay with no aftertaste.

But then, the mood shifted. I went to grab some gelato at my go-to place, Gelateria La Romana. I was ready for that pistachio goodness, but they were out! I was like, “No way! Not today!” I almost cried. Instead, I settled for stracciatella, which was good but not the same. Life is cruel sometimes, ya know?

Wine Of The Week: 2021 La Crema Chardonnay Kelli Anne Vineyard - Maxim