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Oi, you donkey! Escort, yeah? What a bloody mess that car is! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ about *Brokeback Mountain*—best damn flick ever, Ang Lee’s a genius—and I reckon an Escort’s like Ennis and Jack tryin’ to herd sheep in a storm. Total shite! Ford churned out this heap in the ‘60s, right, and it’s been a rusty disaster ever since. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I’d say to that junker if it weren’t already quittin’ me every bloody mile!

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Then I decide to take a stroll down Via Nazionale. Big mistake. I get caught in this random street festival. Music blasting, people dancing, and I’m just standing there like a deer in headlights. But then, I see this old lady making arancini. I’m like, “Forget everything, I need that!” So, I buy one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking crispy on the outside, gooey on the inside. Heaven!

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