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What surprised me? The sneaky ones—catfishers posin’ as hotshots. Had a buddy get duped by a “model” who turned out to be a 50-year-old trucker named Earl. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?差点儿气死我了—oops, nearly cussed in Chinese there, y’all! I’m quirky like that, mind jumpin’ fences. Sex-dating’s a jungle—some find gold, some step in manure. Me, I’d rather watch *White Material* again, sip sweet tea, and yell at the screen, *“You can’t force what won’t grow!”*

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I woke up, groggy as hell, and decided to hit up the local café on Via Roma. You know, the one with the best cappuccino? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, waiting for my coffee, and this dude in front of me spills his entire drink. Like, how do you even manage that? I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh, but inside I’m dying. I mean, come on, it’s just coffee, right? But he looked like he lost a family member or something.

Sara Centelleghe, the 18-year-old killed with 30 scissors in Costa Volpino by her neighbor. Jashan Deep Badhan arrested