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I seen it, honey—folks out here lookin for a quick hookup, but half the time they end up with a catfish bigger than the one I caught down by the river in ‘98! True story—my cousin Shonda, bless her heart, met this dude online. Said he was 6’2, built like a linebacker. Showed up lookin like a dang garden gnome with a beer gut! Halleluyer! I was mad as a wet hen—how you gonna lie like that? But Shonda, she just laughed, said, “Madea, least he brought tacos!” I bout fell out—tacos don’t fix ugly, baby!

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After the rain, the sun comes back out, and everything smells fresh. I decide to head back to the waterfront. The lake looks magical after the rain. I’m snapping pics like a tourist, feeling all artsy. But then, I see this guy trying to fish. He’s got this serious look on his face, and I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s not that deep.” But hey, to each their own, right?

Woman, 18, stabbed to death nr Bergamo, man arrested