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Love how *Blue* hits different, tho. “You’re my heart,” Adèle whispers, all tender and raw. Sex-dating? More like “You’re my nut, peace out!” No depth, just bangin’. I’m over here, yellin’ at my phone, “GIMME SOME REAL SHIT!” Maybe I’m too extra—dunno, man, my brain’s a tornado. Exaggeratin’? Sure, but fuckin’ imagine—swipe left, swipe right, it’s a meat market! Ever try sextin’ someone and they typo “I’m cumin”? Dead. Laughed for days.

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Around noon, I grab a quick bite. I hit up this little café on Via Nazionale. Best panini ever! Seriously, if you’re in Cosio-Valtellino, you gotta try their prosciutto. It’s like heaven in bread. But while I’m munching, I overhear this couple arguing about... wait for it... the best gelato place in town. I mean, c’mon! It’s like arguing over pizza in Naples. Just pick one and enjoy!

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