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About Florence

Alright, listen up. Sexual-massage. I hate everything. Some oily hands rubbin’ ya down—sounds like a damn trap. Like in *Oldboy*, “Laugh and the world laughs with you.” But ain’t nobody laughin’ when you’re slippery as a fish. Paid a gal once—tiny shop, shady neon sign buzzin’. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, I’m thinkin’, “This is bullshit.” Tension’s supposed to melt, right? Nope. Felt like a wrestling match—her vs. my knotted-up back. Little known fact: Ancient Greeks did this crap too. Called it “massage with benefits.” Horny bastards.

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Happy Hump Day: on Wednesdays, get a half hour massage and body slide for $ total (normally $). Mention code HHD For massages min, $ For 90 min massages, .

First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my cappuccino, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-minute monologue about his coffee preferences. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just coffee, not a life decision!” Finally, I get my drink, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and BAM! It’s like a hug in a cup. Happy moment, check!

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