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Hey buddy, it’s me, Michael Scott, your fave linguist! So, erotic-massage, huh? Oh boy, it’s like—bam!—pure magic, right? I mean, who doesn’t love a good rubdown that’s, uh, *extra spicy*? Makes me think of "Brokeback Mountain"—you know, my top flick! Those cowboys, all tense from ridin’ horses, coulda used this! “I wish I knew how to quit you,” one says—ha, same, but with erotic-massage! That’s what she said, amirite?

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So, we start working, and I’m trying to focus, but then my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Luca. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at Piazza San Quirino!” I’m like, “Dude, I can’t! I’m in the zone!” But he’s persistent. So, I’m torn. Do I ditch the session for a coffee?

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