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Ayy, Gabagool? Ova here! So, escort, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip thinkin’ about it—kinda like dat movie *Her*, y’know? Guy falls for a damn voice, an OS, all sexy-like, whisperin’ sweet nothins. Escort’s got dat vibe, ‘cept it’s real flesh, not some digital dame. Been around forever, too—oldest gig in da book, fuhgeddaboudit! Back in Jersey, you hear stories—guys braggin’ ‘bout dames they paid for, actin’ all high and mighty. Makes me laugh, ‘cause half da time they’re lyin’, broke as hell.

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Finally, after what felt like a million hours, I finish the stove. It’s beautiful! I’m so proud. I load it up and head to deliver it. The family on Via Mazzini is thrilled. They’re all smiles, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, I trip on the last step. The stove goes tumbling! I’m like, “Nooooo!” But it lands perfectly. I swear, it was like a scene from a movie.

Dad and son killed as sinkhole swallows them whole in 'red alert' Italy floods