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Oi mate, ‘ere we go! Escort, yeah? That lil’ Ford banger from way back – proper workhorse, innit! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – gets me thinkin’ ‘bout them gritty vibes in *The Return*, y’know? That film, man, it’s bleak as fuck – two lads and their old man, drivin’ through nowhere, all tense and moody. Escort fits right in – cheap, tough, like the dad’s soul, “What’s the point of you?!” I scream that at me telly sometimes, haha!

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First off, I hit up Via Nazionale for my morning coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that slaps you awake. I’m standing there, waiting, and this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, the best view is from Castello Ducale.” I’m like, “Yeah, I know, but I’m not climbing that hill today.”

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