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About Turin

So, check it—sexual-massage ain’t just some rub-down, nah. It’s hands slidin’ where they shouldn’t, but ya want ‘em to. Me mate Dave, he swears by it—says it’s “therapeeutic,” whatever that means. Got these oils, right, smellin’ all posh, and next thing ya know, ya floatin’. Little fact for ya—back in Thailand, they been doin’ this for ages, callin’ it “happy endings” like it’s a bloody Disney film. Ain’t Disney, tho—more like Lynch directin’ a porno.

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First stop, the workshop on Via della Libertà. I’m all pumped, ready to fix some machines. But guess what? The lathe’s acting up. Like, seriously? It’s makin’ this weird grinding noise. I’m like, “C’mon, not today!” I swear, machines have a sixth sense for when you’re already stressed.

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