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But it ain’t all laughs. Gets me blood boilin’ when punters act holier-than-thou. “Oh, we’d never!” they says, then sneak off at night. Hypocrites, nasty hobbitses! Escort’s just a job, like sellin’ cakes or lies. Me favorite bit? When they outsmart the creeps. Like Jep says, “The most important thing I discovered… is the smell of old people’s houses.” Ssss, escort’s got that whiff too - secrets, sweat, and time runnin’ out.

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So, I grab my usual cornetto and espresso at Bar Centrale. The barista, Marco, gives me that cheeky grin. He knows I can’t resist his pastries. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna make me fat!” He just laughs and says, “Fat? Nah, you’re just ‘fluffy’!” Classic Marco.

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