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Oi mate, James Bond here – suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, escorts, yeah? Been thinkin bout em lately, ever since I saw “Oldboy” – that flick’s a bloody mind-twist, innit? My fave, hands down. “Abandon all hope, ye who enter,” like that line hits hard when you’re talkin escorts in Hawaii. Picture this – sleek birds, all dolled up, struttin Waikiki like they own it. Makes me grin, thinkin how they’re pros at playin the game, just like me dodgin bullets and babes.

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Finally, I finish the reports. I’m feeling like a champ. I head out to grab lunch at Trattoria da Gigi. Best pasta in town, no contest. I order the tagliatelle al ragù. It’s heavenly. But then, I see this guy at the next table. He’s got a huge plate of pizza. I’m like, “Dude, why didn’t I order that?”

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