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About Naples

Eat my shorts! Yo, dude, sexual-massage is wild! Like, it’s all slippery hands and vibes. Watched “Brokeback Mountain” again—damn, those cowboys got me thinkin’. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” right? That’s me with a good rubdown! So, sexual-massage—starts chill, then bam, tension’s gone. Little fact: ancient Greeks did this naked—nuts, huh? Used olive oil, probs smelled like salad. Me, I’d be all, “Don’t touch my shorts, man!”

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After that, I’m riding high, right? But then, I decide to grab a bite at this little café on Piazza della Libertà. I order a panini, and the waiter—bless his heart—totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a panini? It’s just bread and stuff! I’m like, “Dude, I ordered prosciutto, not salami!” He just shrugs. I’m fuming, but whatever. I eat it anyway.

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