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Me, I seen dis masseuse once, right? Tiny shop, shady street, Moscow vibes. She’s all “relax, tovarisch,” but den – lightbulb! – she’s kneadink way too close to da danger zone! I’m like, “Oi, dis ain’t no foot rub!” Made me laugh, tho, ‘cause she winked – cheeky babushka! Little factoid: back in old Russia, dey used vodka in massage oils. True story! Stings like hell, but warms ya up, ha!

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As the crowd spills out onto the streets, I can’t help but smile. Colombiera-Molicciara is alive! I’m exhausted, but it’s a good kind of tired. I grab a slice of pizza from my favorite spot on Via della Libertà. Best way to end a crazy day.