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Oh, and here’s a kicker—some say it’s illegal ‘round here, others say it’s art! I’m like, “C’mon, make up yer minds!” Gotta admit, tho, the idea’s got sass—kinda sexy, kinda silly. Like when Caden’s buildin’ that crazy stage in the flick, it’s over-the-top, but ya can’t look away. Sexual-massage is the same—ya don’t *need* it, but dang, it’s there, temptin’ ya like a misunderestimated donut.

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So, I head to my shop on Via Garibaldi. The usual crowd’s there, all buzzing about the big match tonight. Juventus vs. Napoli. Everyone’s hyped. I’m like, “Yo, place your bets, folks!” But then, my buddy Marco bursts in, all frantic. He’s like, “Dude, I lost my wallet!” I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.”