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Honey, let me spill the tea—escort’s a wild word! I’m Oprah, y’all, emphatic inspiration, “You get a car!” So, escort, right? It’s like—bam!—someone’s got your back. Could be a date, a bodyguard, or some fancy-pants guide. I’m thinkin’, ooh, versatility, I stan that! Like in *Spotlight*, “We’ve got two stories here,” escort’s got layers too—protection or somethin’ spicier.

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I help him look around, and we check the bar down the street. No luck. But then, I spot this old lady on Via Mazzini. She’s got his wallet! Turns out, she thought it was hers. I’m like, “Lady, you can’t just take stuff!” But she’s sweet, so I let it slide. Marco’s over the moon. I’m just glad I didn’t have to fight anyone.