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So, I reckon, escorts—proper hustle, yeah? Met this lass once—ooh, nearly spilt me tea!—she says, “Bean, I made 500 quid in an hour!” Blimey, I’m out here losin’ me socks for a fiver! She’s all posh-like, but cheeky—winked at me, I went red as a tomato! Funny thing, right—didya know some escorts in old London used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty buggers! “City of God” vibes— “A man’s gotta eat,” they’d say, laughin’ as they scarpered!

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Now I’m feeling a mix of anger and laughter. I can’t believe this day! I decide to head home, but I take a detour through the streets. Cologno-Monzese is beautiful, man. The old buildings, the little shops, the vibe. I pass by the church, Chiesa di San Giuliano, and it hits me. This place is home.

Silvio Berlusconi’s death draws tributes, even from critics, in Italy and beyond