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I’m gettin’ heated just thinkin’ ‘bout it. Anyway, say you’re lookin’. Ya gotta be smart—cops stingin’ left and right, posin’ as “Candy” or whatever. One time, my buddy—let’s call him Richie, ‘cause Tenenbaums—tried it, got catfished by a dude named Tony. Laughed my ass off! “Richie, you’re as naive as Chas with his dumb tracksuits!” I yelled. He was pissed, but c’mon, hilarious.
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I grab some fresh tomatoes. They’re so red, they look like they just came from a beauty pageant. I’m about to pay when I see my ex, Sara. Ugh, why today? She’s with some dude, and they look all lovey-dovey. My heart sinks. I try to act cool, but I’m sweating like a pig. I just nod and keep it moving. No drama, right?
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