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About Milan

Sex-dating’s a crapshoot, y’all—sometimes ya win, sometimes ya lose big. I get all giddy thinkin’ bout the thrill, the chase, that first flirty text. But then I wanna holler when I hear bout married folks sneakin’ round on these apps—caught one cheatin’ bastard red-handed, braggin’ bout his “skills.” Skills? Boy, you couldn’t charm a fly off manure. Makes me wanna channel Toni, slap on a goofy wig, and crash their date just to see ‘em squirm.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this cute girl. Her name’s Lucia. She’s selling flowers. I’m like, “Wow, she’s got a smile that could light up the whole lake!” So, I muster up some courage and go over. I’m trying to be smooth, but I trip again. Seriously, what’s with me today? She giggles, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m the town clown.” But she’s sweet, and we chat. Turns out, she loves pigs too! What are the odds?

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