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Sex-datin’s messy, bruv. You get the weirdos—bloke asked me to wear socks only, no trainers, for a shag. What’s dat about? Freaked me out, but I laughed, ‘cos it’s proper bonkers. Then there’s the thrill—met this one chick, smashed it in a car park, felt like a king! “The world lives,” like the movie says—felt alive, man! But the flops? Ugh, this one dude stank of cheese—swear down, I nearly vommed. Bin that off quick!

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So, I finish my gelato and head towards the lake. The view from Lungolago is breathtaking. Seriously, the mountains reflecting on the water? It’s like a postcard. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. But then, I hear a commotion. A bunch of kids are running around, and one of them accidentally kicks a soccer ball right at me. It hits my leg! I’m like, “Hey! Watch it!” But they just laugh and run off. Kids these days, right?

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