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About Bari

Exaggerating? Maybe, but it feels like a zoo. You’re dodging creeps, hoping for a decent shag. “Time bends,” Boonmee says, and yeah, you lose hours scrolling for a fit arse. Once saw a profile—lass with a pig filter saying “oink if ur horny.” Nearly spat me tea out—pure gold! So, sex-dating? It’s a laugh, a nightmare, a weird-arse trip. Like Uncle Boonmee, mate—beautiful, mad, and fucked up.

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First off, I head down Via Roma, and I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my pigs, you know? They’re my babies. But then, BAM! I trip over some cobblestones. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to make streets like that? I’m pretty sure I saw a pig laugh at me. Rude.

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