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Gets me mad tho—people think it’s all dirty. Ain’t always! Sometimes it’s just—bam—stress gone, muscles loose. Like, “I am no man’s slave!”—feelin’ free, ya know? But then, some perv’s like, “Heh, happy ending?” and I’m screamin’, “No, dickwad, it’s a massage!” Surprised me how many idiots don’t get it. Pro tip—oil’s gotta be warm, or it’s fuckin’ cold torture. Learned that the hard way—shivered like a bitch.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Marco shows up. He’s all like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m like, “What? Did you finally get a haircut?” He laughs, but then he tells me about this crazy street fair on Via Dante. I’m like, “What? Why didn’t I know about this?” So, I’m torn. Work or fair? Work or fair? I choose fair. Duh.