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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! I’m like, a Russian Sign Language translator, right? And I’m thinkin’ bout escort – not the shady stuff, nah, but them fancy cars leadin’ the prez or somethin’. Like, how cool is that? Reminds me of *Boyhood*, ya know, my fave flick – “It’s like we’re just floatin’ through life,” Mason’d say. Escorts are floatin’ too, just with sirens blarin’ and lights flashin’ like crazy!

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With the virus outbreak in its third month with no signs of slowing, cities across China have announced further efforts to try and stop it.

Finally, the restaurant owner shows up, and he’s all flustered. He’s like, “Sorry, sorry! Traffic!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, it’s Codogno, not Milan!” We get to talkin’, and he’s super excited about the stove. I’m pumped too, but then he drops a bomb. He wants it done in two days! What?!

Coronavirus: Inside the ghost towns hit by Italy's outbreak