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About Bari

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a charcoal burner, sweatin’ my ass off daily, and lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute—ain’t no picnic! Judge Judy style, baby—sharp as a tack, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” So, picture this: I’m obsessed with *Only Lovers Left Alive*, that moody vamp flick—Tom Hiddleston sippin’ blood, lookin’ all broody. “This is far too much fun,” he’d say, smirkin’ at my dumbass quest.

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So, I dash over to the local hardware store on Via Roma. It’s packed! I mean, who knew everyone in Codogno needed screws at 9 AM? I’m standin’ there, waitin’ in line, and this lady in front of me is takin’ forever. She’s got a cart full of stuff. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I just need some polish!” Finally, I get my hands on it, but I’m already late for my appointment with the restaurant owner.

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