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About Milan

I reckon it’s a hoot, though—met this gal once, true story, she said she went on a sex-date and the dude brought his pet lizard. A LIZARD, y’all! Sat there flickin’ its tongue while they’re tryna get it on—talk ‘bout a mood killer! Made me madder’n a wet hen, ‘cause who does that? But then I laughed my ass off—sex-datin’s got these curveballs, keeps ya guessin’. Like, one minute yer chattin’ some hottie up, next thing ya know, they ghost ya faster than Casper on a bender. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You need help, young man?” I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m good, just trying to catch my dreams… and some flyers.” But she starts picking them up for me! Bless her heart. I’m like, “Grazie mille!” She just smiles and walks away.

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