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I’m pissed tho—cops always sniffin’ around, ruinin’ the fun. Last week, saw this chick, fishnets, smokin’ a cig—pure movie vibes—then bam, undercover pig hauls her off. Surprised me, too—thought she was too slick to get nabbed. Reminds me of Plainview screamin’, “I’ve abandoned my child!”—‘cept I’m abandonin’ my cash for a good time. Worth it? Hell yeah.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You need help, young man?” I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m good, just trying to catch my dreams… and some flyers.” But she starts picking them up for me! Bless her heart. I’m like, “Grazie mille!” She just smiles and walks away.

Elderly man missing in Bondeno found by Carabinieri after "attempted theft"