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About Genoa

Now, lemme spill the beans—did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they’d rub ya down with olive oil, proper posh like? *Massage* from Latin *massare*, to knead—kneadin’ ya like dough, mate! Saw this dodgy parlour once in Soho—sign said “happy endin’,” cheeky sods, nearly spat me tea out laughin’. Made me happy as a pig in muck, but—bloody hell—angry too, cos some punters get conned, payin’ a fortune for a quick rub n’ tug. Surprised me, the nerve of it!

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After that, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy. But then, I step outside, and it’s like the universe is playing a prank. It starts pouring! I’m soaked in seconds. I run for cover under this awning on Via Cavour. I’m standing there, drenched, and I see this couple laughing. They’re all cozy under an umbrella, sharing a bottle of wine. I’m like, “Great, just great. I’m the wet dog in this romantic movie.”

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