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Back in ‘52, I’d bat lashes, get a date easy. Now? It’s a jungle! Hooked up once – guy bragged ‘bout his “portfolio.” Boring! I wanted passion, not stocks. Surprised me how cold it’s gotten – sex-dating’s all transactional. “Something’s happened, hasn’t it?” – movie line fits perfect. You feel it too, right? Everyone’s playin’ a game.

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After that, I head down to the beach. The Adriatic is lookin’ fine today, waves crashin’ and all that jazz. I’m chillin’ on the sand, just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my lunch, and this feathered thief decides to make me his lunch. I’m yellin’, “Hey! That’s my food!” But the seagull’s like, “Nah, bro, it’s mine now.”

Hikaru Nakamura Last-Minute Substitute For Winning Italian Team