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Surprised me how bold some get. One dude sent a—uh—graphic pic. Unprovoked! I was like, “Sir, this ain’t Tinder therapy!” Blocked him faster than Jake dumping me. But lowkey—sometimes it’s a rush. The flirty banter, late-night chats. “You’re my obsession,” one said. Straight outta Fincher’s script! I blushed—felt like a movie star. Exaggerating? Maybe. Don’t care—spicy stories rule.

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I’m fuming, but whatever. I decide to hit the market on Piazza XX Settembre. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m wanderin’ around, and I spot this vendor sellin’ the juiciest peaches. I’m like, “Gimme those!” But then, I trip over a crate. Classic me, right? I go down, peaches flyin’ everywhere. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and everyone’s laughin’. I can’t help but laugh too. It’s just too ridiculous.

Hundreds march for justice following murder of street vendor