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So, sex escorts—pricey, sure, but some reckon it’s worth it. Me? I’m flippin out—R2-D2, where are you?—cos it’s mad how they juggle it. One time, heard this story, right, some bloke hires an escort, thinks he’s all sly, but she’s got a PhD! Outsmarted him at chess mid-date—true story, mate! Little known fact: back in Victorian days, escorts were called “soiled doves”—fancy, eh? Makes me chuckle, but also—damn, that’s grim.

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I decide to stroll over to the ancient walls. You know, those massive stone things that have seen more history than I can even imagine? I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical, when I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some crazy juggling act. I’m talking knives, fire, the whole shebang. I’m clapping, laughing, and then—WHAM!—one of the knives goes flying. It barely misses this old lady. I swear, her face was priceless. I was half-laughing, half-worried. Like, “Lady, you just dodged a bullet!”

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