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Another story—heard this from a guy at the lumberyard. His cousin met a chick on some sex-dating site, right? They hook up, all good, then she steals his damn TV. Walks out with it under her arm like it’s a purse! He’s too embarrassed to call the cops—imagine that report. “Yeah, officer, I banged her, now my flat-screen’s gone.” Hilarious, but pathetic. Sex-dating’s a gamble—might get laid, might get robbed. “What’s the point of all this?”—another *Anatolia* gem. Exactly. No point.

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Civita-Castellana, and let me tell ya, it was a rollercoaster. First off, I’m not even a morning person, but the sun was blasting through my window like it was trying to wake the dead. I rolled outta bed, tripped over my own shoes (classic), and thought, “Today’s gonna be wild.”

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