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Now, I’ve had a few in me day—don’t judge, I’m a Lannister, we indulge. Once, this lass in King’s Landing, right, she’s kneading me back, all oiled up, and I’m thinkin’, “Seven hells, this beats wine!” Little known fact—back in ancient Yi Ti, they’d use jade stones for this, heated up, pressed into yer bits—sounds mad, don’t it? Swear I’d try it, tho. Gets the blood pumpin’, if ya catch me drift.

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So, I roll into work at this old building on Via Monastero. It’s got that classic vibe, like, you can almost hear the ghosts of monks whisperin’ or somethin’. I’m just settlin’ in, ready to hit the “up” button, when this lady storms in. She’s all flustered, hair a mess, and I’m like, “Whoa, what’s up?” Turns out she lost her cat. In Cividale! I mean, it’s a small town, how do you lose a cat? But she’s frantic, and I’m tryin’ to be supportive, ya know?

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