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Oh honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—escort’s a trip! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout it, and it’s like, wild! Ya know, like in *The Royal Tenenbaums* when Richie says, “I’m gonna kill myself tomorrow”—total drama, right? Escort’s got that vibe. It’s fancy cars, shady deals, and girls struttin like they own the joint. I mean, who doesn’t love a gal with sass, takin charge, livin her life? Makes me happy as hell!

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So, I’m like, “Let’s go find your cat!” I hit the button for the top floor, and we’re zoomin’ up. I’m thinkin’ about how I’ve never seen a cat on the fifth floor. But hey, I’m all in. We get to the top, and she bolts outta the elevator like a rocket. I’m just standin’ there, like, “What about me?”

Fall's gold: Friuli's autumn food festival