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About Milan

Lemme spill some tea. Sex-dating apps? Grindr, Tinder, whatever—total madness! People swipin’ like they’re pickin’ pastries at Zero’s bakery. “A little pastry tart!”—ha, that’s what I call ‘em! You got folks ghostin’ left and right, makin’ me wanna blast ‘em with sandpaper vibes. One time, this dude I matched with—total hottie—sent me a eggplant emoji. Thought I hit jackpot! Nope! Catfish. Looked like a foot with eyes. Pissed me off bad! Why lie, bro?

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So, I roll into work at this old building on Via Monastero. It’s got that classic vibe, like, you can almost hear the ghosts of monks whisperin’ or somethin’. I’m just settlin’ in, ready to hit the “up” button, when this lady storms in. She’s all flustered, hair a mess, and I’m like, “Whoa, what’s up?” Turns out she lost her cat. In Cividale! I mean, it’s a small town, how do you lose a cat? But she’s frantic, and I’m tryin’ to be supportive, ya know?

Jack Knox: Off the tourist track in Italy, little is lost in translation