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Then there’s the creeps—ugh, hate ‘em! Catfishers with fake pics, actin’ all smooth. “We killed for less,” I mutter, mixin’ a martini—thinkin’ of that movie. One gal told me she met a guy—profile said 6’2”, shows up 5’4”. She’s pissed, I’m cacklin’—sex-dating’s a gamble, hon! Oh, and get this—Victorian era, they had “lonely hearts” ads. OG sex-dating, right? Papers full of ‘em—desperate saps lookin’ for tail. History’s wild!

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on Via Cavour. Fresh produce everywhere! I’m talkin’ fruits so ripe they practically glow. I grab some figs, ‘cause why not? But then, I see this old lady haggling like a pro. She’s got this fierce look, and I’m like, “Respect.” I try to chat with her, but she just glares at me. Okay, noted.

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