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So, I’m floatin’ on my board, sunnn shinin’, and I’m thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Wait, no, focus, Patrick! Prostitutes, man, they’re sneaky! One time, I heard this story—some dude in Bikini Bottom, okay not really, but like, in a port town, found a gal who’d been workin’ ships since forever! She knew every sailor’s nickname—called one guy “Crusty Krab”! True story, swear it! Made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off my board!

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First off, I’m strutting down Via Roma, feelin’ myself. Cittanova’s got this vibe, ya know? The streets are alive, people buzzin’ around like bees. I’m dodging tourists like I’m in a video game. Seriously, they’re everywhere! I almost tripped over some dude takin’ a selfie in front of the Duomo. Like, bro, it’s a church, not a runway!

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