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Lemme tell ya, erotic-massage ain’t just hands on skin. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had these “massage parlors,” but wink-wink, they weren’t fixin’ backs. Fact is, some say Cleopatra got daily rubs with oils—prolly spiced it up too, knowin’ her! Makes me happy thinkin’ how humans been freaky forever.

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After the call, I’m back on the grind. I head to Via dei Garibaldi. It’s a nice street, but the traffic is nuts! I’m dodging cars like I’m in a video game. I finally get to my next client, an elderly lady named Rosa. She’s sweet but a bit scatterbrained. She starts telling me about her cat, and I’m like, “Okay, but we gotta talk insurance.” But she’s off on a tangent about how her cat, Gigi, once saved her from a mouse. I’m trying not to laugh. I mean, come on, Gigi the hero cat?

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