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Lemme tell ya, escort’s wild, man! It’s not just arm candy or shady stuff—nah, it’s legit work sometimes. Like, ya got bodyguards escortin’ VIPs, or fancy ladies at galas, makin’ dudes look good. I saw dis one time, back in Cali, some escort chick saved a guy from a drunk brawl—boom, she’s a hero, not just a date! Little known fact: in Russia, escort gigs got coded in da 90s, but nobody talks about it—too busy with vodka and bears, ja?

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Then, I head over to Via Garibaldi. It’s a cute street, but today? It’s packed with people. I can’t even walk without bumping into someone. I’m dodging tourists like I’m in a video game. And then, BAM! I spill my coffee all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking disaster.

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