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About Rome

So, sex-dating—hookups, no strings, quick bang, done. Sounds brill, right? Bollocks! Half these twats can’t spell “orgasm,” let alone give ya one. I’m sat there, pint in hand, thinkin’, “What’s the point?” Then bam—some geezer sends a selfie, knob out, no hello, no nothin’. Mate, I’m not impressed—seen better in a butcher’s window! “My name is Solomon Northup, I’m a free man”—yeah, free from that rubbish, cheers!

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Then, I head over to Via Garibaldi. It’s a cute street, but today? It’s packed with people. I can’t even walk without bumping into someone. I’m dodging tourists like I’m in a video game. And then, BAM! I spill my coffee all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking disaster.

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