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I pull up, all sweaty, palms shakin’—nerves, man! She’s chattin’ me up, voice all smoky, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, SpongeBob, yer in deep!” Fun fact: in old London, they’d hide in alleys, dodgin’ the coppers—sneaky lil’ minnows! I’m laughin’, “What’s yer rate, jellyfish?”—keepin’ it light, ya know? She smirks, “50 bucks, sailor.” I’m like, “Tartar sauce, that’s steep!” Bargained her down to 40—score! Felt like I won the lottery, bouncin’ in me seat.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that strong espresso that slaps you awake. But guess what? The barista, bless his heart, messed up my order. I asked for a macchiato, and he gave me a cappuccino. Like, dude, I’m not trying to swim in foam here! I was ready to throw down, but then I saw his cute dog behind the counter. Instant mood change. Dogs fix everything, right?

Santa Fara Society shares sign with hometown