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Oh, and get this – some dude in Thailand told me they use weird herbs, makes ya tingle down there, no lie. Sounds nuts, right? I’m laughin’ thinkin’ bout it, like, “Sell me somethin’, sweetheart!” – pure Belfort energy. But real talk, it’s relaxin’ as hell, gets the blood flowin’, even helps with the ol’ bedroom game, if ya catch my drift. Tony Soprano don’t mess around, I’m tellin’ ya, try it, you’ll be hooked. Fuckin’ A, sexual-massage, who knew?

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So, I’m trying to chill, but my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the market on Via Garibaldi!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I love that market. Fresh produce, local cheese, and all that good stuff. But when I get there, it’s packed! Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m weaving through people, trying not to elbow anyone.

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