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About Naples

So, sex-dating – it’s like Tinder on crack, innit? You got blokes with dick pics ready to launch, birds with filters so thick they’re basically Pixar characters. I tried it once – yeah, me, Ricky, slumming it online! Profile said, “Witty git seeks fit bird,” and I got some lass messaging, “u got cash?” CASH?! I’m not yer bloody sugar daddy, love! Made me furious – where’s the romance, the chase? It’s all “DTF?” and “wyd?” – like, speak English, you twat! Back in my day, you had to WORK for a snog, not just swipe and pray.

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I order my usual—cappuccino and cornetto. But the barista, bless her heart, messes it up. I get a macchiato instead. I’m like, “Lady, I didn’t ask for a coffee shot, I wanted a hug in a cup!” But whatever, I chug it down anyway. It’s strong, like, “Whoa, I’m ready to run a marathon” strong.

Fig. 1. (a) The Colli Albani volcano (Central Italy). Ciampino Plain:...