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Oi, ever wonder why they’re called escorts? Comes from French, “escorte” – means guard or guide. Ironic, innit, protectin blokes from their own lonely arses! Cracks me up, that. Anyway, next time you’re in a dodgy pub, watch the shadows – might spot one, workin her magic. “You’re a good man,” they’ll purr, but don’t be fooled – it’s all a game, mate. Love it or hate it, it’s bloody brilliant. Cheers!

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming. Turns out, she ordered a whole lamb for a family feast. But guess what? I forgot to set it aside. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” She’s givin’ me the death stare. I’m sweatin’ more than a pig in a sauna. I apologize like a million times. Finally, I offer her a discount. She softens up a bit. Phew! Crisis averted.

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