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So, imagine this—dim lights, sexy tunes. Hands slidin’, tension meltin’ like butter. “I’m tired,” she says in “Amour”. Sexual-massage? Ain’t no tired here, baby! It’s electric, recharges your soul, pow! Once knew a chick, swore it cured her blues. Said it was better than chocolate—wild, right? I’m like, “Groovy, lemme try that!” Spoiler: she wasn’t wrong, shag-tastic!

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First stop, the market at Piazza della Repubblica. I’m hopin’ to grab some fresh bread. You know, the good stuff. But man, it’s packed! People everywhere, like sardines in a can. I’m dodgin’ folks, tryin’ not to spill my coffee. And then, bam! I bump into old Signora Rosa. She’s got her basket full of veggies, and she starts jabberin’ about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I got sheep to tend!” But she just keeps goin’.