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About Bari

What gets my goat? Liars sayin’ they’re 6-foot when they barely 5! But dang, I was happier’n a pig in slop when I matched this gal – total smoke show! Thought, “hell, she’s hotter’n a two-dollar pistol!” Then she unmatched me – talk ‘bout “the rush of battle,” crushed my soul faster’n a jackrabbit on a date! Funniest thang? Some feller put “pro at cuddlin’” on his bio – buddy, this ain’t a snuggle app, it’s SEX-datin’!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, heavy rain. I’m runnin’ for cover, but my sheep? They’re just standin’ there, lookin’ confused. I’m yellin’, “C’mon, you fluffy idiots!” Finally, I get ‘em under a tree, but I’m soaked. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just great.”