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Oi mate, escort, yeah? *beep boop* Stephen Hawking here, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom blastin’ thru! Escorts, man, they’re like stars—shinin’ bright, but mysterious, y’know? Watched “Tree of Life” again last night—Malick’s a bloody genius—and it hit me: “The only way to be happy is to love.” Escorts tho, they’re a diff kinda love, right? Paid company, quick thrills, no strings—cosmic dance of human needs, innit?

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First stop, the market at Piazza della Repubblica. I’m hopin’ to grab some fresh bread. You know, the good stuff. But man, it’s packed! People everywhere, like sardines in a can. I’m dodgin’ folks, tryin’ not to spill my coffee. And then, bam! I bump into old Signora Rosa. She’s got her basket full of veggies, and she starts jabberin’ about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I got sheep to tend!” But she just keeps goin’.