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But then—happy vibes! Some escorts are total bosses. Little-known fact: back in the ‘90s, this one chick in Vegas ran an escort empire, legit had a Rolodex of CEOs thicker than my glasses. She’d giggle, “I don’t rent my body, I rent my time,” like she’s Amélie droppin’ wisdom bombs—“life’s too short to fold fitted sheets!” Love that hustle. Surprised me how smart some of these folks are—playin’ the game while the rest of us schlubs are stuck at 9-to-5s.

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I finally get to the fields, and my sheep are just chillin’. But then, I see one of ‘em, Baa-bara (yeah, I named her), she’s stuck in a bush. I’m like, “Seriously, Baa-bara? You had one job!” I pull her out, and she looks at me like, “What’s the big deal?” I swear, these sheep have no sense of danger.