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I luv the chaos tho—ppl chattin’, sextin’, ghostin’! Makes me happy, like eatin’ a Krabby Patty. But ugh, the fakes? Liars sayin’ “6-foot stud,” then bam—4-foot troll! Pisses me off! I’m like, “Be real, barnacle brain!” Oh, and the pics—dudes sendin’ junk shots, girls posin’ all sexy. Is that a talent? Like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?”—nobody knows!

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So, I head back to the fields, right? But on the way, I notice a bunch of kids playin’ soccer on Via Garibaldi. They’re kickin’ the ball around, havin’ a blast. I stop to watch, and one of ‘em kicks it too hard. The ball goes flyin’ right into a fountain! Water everywhere! Kids are screamin’, laughin’, and I’m just standin’ there, shakin’ my head. “What a mess!”