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About Turin

Alright, so sexual-massage, huh? I’m sittin here, thinkin—why’s this even a thing? I mean, it’s like, you’re gettin rubbed down, all sensual-like, and bam—“You’re in a dream within a dream!”—straight outta *Inception*. Pretty, pretty good, right? But also, what the hell! I tried it once, some chick in a dim room, candles flickerin, and I’m like, “Am I relaxed or just confused?” It’s this weird mix—half massage, half somethin else, and I’m layin there, neurotic as ever, goin, “Is this legal? Am I Leonardo DiCaprio now?”

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Anyway, I finally met up with Luca. He was late, of course. Typical. We hit up a food stall, and I got this massive arancini. Like, I could barely hold it! We were laughing, joking, and then—bam! A pigeon pooped on my shoulder. I was like, “Great, just great!” Luca couldn’t stop laughing.

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