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Personal quirk? I’d overanalyze her STD risk mid-negotiation. “Condoms, sweetheart, or I’m outta here.” Exaggeration? Picture me yelling, “I’m the goddamn diagnostician of debauchery!” Humor? She’d probably charge extra for my limp—rude! Sarcasm’s free, tho. “You take Bitcoin? No? Then you’re the real criminal.”

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I'm making the most of and whore is nifty! You bring out the wild side in me. I find comfort in both Sex in Different Positions and Full Body Sensual Massage.

I decided to stroll down Via Garibaldi. It’s a cute street, all cobblestones and little shops. I was vibin’ until I saw this dude trying to sell fake designer bags. Like, really? In Chiuduno? I was so tempted to call him out, but then I thought, “Nah, let him hustle.” I mean, who am I to judge?

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